Leaving Home

Very often American soldiers leave their home, sometimes quietly in the night, other times with a little fan-fare, but always with family and fellow Americans foremost in their thoughts and courage and sacrifice in their hearts. Today my son-in-law and his comrades marched a little closer to their destiny, Iraq. We were there to say goodbye and wish him well.

Before he left, I asked him if he would write a few words on how it feels to be leaving home and family to serve his country. And this is what he said.

"Leaving for Iraq is a terribly complicated situation that invokes a wide range of feelings. First and foremost I feel SADNESS for leaving my precious family behind. My son is beautiful and full of life and energy. It is so fun to just watch him figure things out, run wild, and aggravate the dogs.

My beautiful wife inspires me with her caring and compassion as a mother. I am a better person in so many ways because of her. I love to look at her, after 9 yrs together I still find her beauty striking. I will sadly miss some firsts for my son like when he starts talking, doing math, and mowing grass. Ok, maybe I am expecting too much from a 2 year old, but I am sure he will at least talk.

Soon to be boy #2, who will arrive shortly, leaves me ANXIOUS. What will he look like? What kind of baby will he be? How will the oldest receive him? I will miss all those times when I can sit on the couch and watch football with a sleeping baby on my chest. I really love that. He should be crawling if not walking by the time I get back. I am also anxious about how my wife will be able to handle, physically and mentally, an espresso crazed toddler and a new baby that demands constant attention and feeding.

This brings me to feeling enormous GRATITUDE for my in-laws. What a sacrifice they have accepted by letting their daughter, her 100mph son, a soon to be new born, and two bad little dogs into their picture perfect home that is far from baby proof. Not only that, they will be so instrumental to my wife’s sanity by providing additional help and wisdom during the tough times that are soon to come. I cannot thank them enough for what this does for my family but also the peace of mind it gives me while I am gone.

My next feeling is FEAR. I am so afraid that when I arrive back home, the boys will treat me like a stranger. I am afraid my oldest will hide behind his Mama’s leg when I try to hug him and the youngest will cry when I hold him. At a moment when I want nothing more than to hold my babies as close to me as I possibly can, they will reject me as if I was some crazy dude walking by trying to kidnap them. It will break my heart into a thousand pieces. I hope Skype minimizes this issue and allows my sons to immediately recognize Daddy when they see me.

Lastly, I feel EXCITEMENT. I have trained for 7 years, missed all but 2 of my anniversaries, countless weddings and other important events, for what? To walk around the mall knowing that I can enter and clear a building, that I don’t miss what I shoot at, and that I can lead men in combat. No. I sacrificed that time away from my wife, my family, and away from comfort and the civilian world because if the time came I wanted to contribute to the protection of the freedoms that we all experience in this country. I have a wonderful life and I am thankful for every little bit of it.

Furthermore, there is this bond that develops between soldiers that no one but other soldiers can understand. In a manner of speaking, you feel an obligation to protecting your band of brothers much the same as you would protecting your own family. So, I am excited to do my job, to accomplish our mission with honor, to bring everyone home, and to get back to my precious family as soon as possible."

“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf” ~George Orwell

Contributing to Mosaic Monday.